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A friend of mine posted twice recently in a Facebook group we are both in. The first post was about being disheartened and how someone had called her dishonest and degraded her business efforts. This left her feeling crushed and discouraged. The next week she posted in the same group. She referred to her previous post about being disheartened, but now a different person who she was offering the same service to responds with, “…You are appreciated. You are a God send. I have been praying lie never before…you are an answer from God…”

I was thinking of the contrast between these two posts and how quickly things can change. I can too often focus on the negative, on how things are not where I want them to be, and how (in my own head) “I am failing.” And then, God puts something in front of me that I didn’t expect. Something that is more than I could have imagined.

The last few weeks as a church we have been fasting from social media on Sundays. We are in a series focused on rest & sabbath. When we were invited to join the weekly Sunday fast my first thought was, “I’m not sure that is something I want to agree to” because so much of my business relies on my interactions on Facebook. And, at a time when I’m still working to get my business to a level that is self-sustaining with recurring revenue, I thought, “Now is not the time to slack off.” That first Sunday as I sat listening to the lesson that my son-in-law gave, I heard something new to me. Funny, I’m 52, been a Christian all my life, have a master’s degree in Christian ministry, 15 years of volunteer work in Youth Ministry, and 10 years as a full-time pastor…yeah…we can always learn something new. 

This Sunday I learned that Sabbath rest was not just about rest, sleep, relaxation, recuperation, recharging, and rejuvenation. Those are included, but Sabbath rest is more about this ONE…BIG…THING!  Reliance on God for provision.

How could I have missed that? How through all these years have I thought that sabbath rest was about me?  Figure the odds…I made it about me. When I rest from my work, especially when I don’t want to, with the intent and focus that I am resting in the arms of God, I am proclaiming to myself and to the great Creator that I am dependent on him for my provision.

After a lot of effort, money, and time over the last six weeks, I’ve grown weary and have resigned myself to the idea that my agency ad campaign has to date been a failure. Not one solid prospect out of 100+ leads and more money on ad spend than I’d like to have speont. I’ve sent FB messages, I’ve texted, I’ve emailed, I’ve called. 60% have been older people who didn’t know what they were clicking on, and the other 40% just won’t communicate at all. This hasn’t been a careless setting-up of an ad and hoping things would work out, as if spending enough money automatically gets results. I’ve been working with someone who is helping me test, explore, try different approaches, etc.  We’re not done yet. But I’m sure you can understand the negative attitude one can get after such a situation.

Yet, at this very time in my life and my businesses growth, I’m reminded of the importance of relying on God and sabbath rest. So, I rest on Sunday. I fast from social media. I allow in my life and in my mind, time for God to provide. I remind myself and pray to God, “God, you are the provider of all I need. You are the giver of great gifts. In you I shall not want. You lead me into green pastures and beside quiet waters for your name sake. And although I may walk through trouble and sorrow, to the very face of my own mortality, I will not fear. For your staff and your rod, your guidance, and your protection, give me great comfort. You honor me in front of my enemies, you are the one who sets provisions in front of me. You fill my cup beyond its ability to contain your blessing. I am certain, very certain, that your goodness and love will dwell with me my entire life. For now and for always I will, I must dwell in the presence of the Lord.

I almost forgot to mention that thing that God put in front of me. That thing I didn’t expect. About two weeks ago, when I was feeling like my friend, disheartened and discouraged, I received a call, that turned into a meeting, that turned in to a exploration of possibilities with a company. We have no idea how this exploration of opportunity may turn out, but I can tell you that my heart is in a much better place relying on God than it was when I forgot to acknowledge God’s work in my life and the life of my business. Although I will work hard, and do my best, I rely on God to provide. I rest in his arms. Although I will seek to truly see if my offerings provide a solution for this company, I will not try to force my will into this situation. He guides my path. Although I would love to land this contract, in the big scheme of things, I rely on God’s provision whether this contract comes to fruition or not. The Lord is my shepherd and I rely on him for my provision.

Below this is a link to a YouTube video my church put together during the COVID pandemic. It was a time of separation and uncertainty. Sort of like these moments we have when we feel like we’re failing, like we’re alone, like we are not capable. This prayer reminds us that the Lord leads us, guides us, provides for us, and protects us.

Christmas is a time of the year where we focus on the birth of Jesus accompanied by gift giving and family gatherings. Today I had the opportunity to give the communion thought during our church gathering. If you don’t know, communion (Lord’s Supper or Eucharist) is considered a memorial feast. Traditionally it’s not a feast with large quantities of food and drink; instead it’s a memorial feast made up of unleavened bread or crackers and some wine or grape juice. It is a part of our weekly worship service; a time set aside for remembrance of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. But what does this have to do with Christmas? Christmas is about Jesus’ birth not his death…right?

One of my favorite Christmas songs is “Mary, Did You Know?” The lyrics ask if Mary knew her son would walk on water, that he would save our sons and daughters, that her baby boy had come to make her new. The song does not specifically refer to the cross, so I decided as we approached the time of remembrance to read some of the lyrics and asked if Mary knew her son would die a painful and gruesome death. I can scarcely imagine Mary at the foot of the cross watching the soldiers swing their hammer as they nailed his hands and feet, lifting the cross up in the air and securing it in place by most likely dropping it in a hole, and her son, innocent as a lamb hanging there taking a punishment he did not deserve. She must have felt helpless. She must have felt hopeless. More than once she must have asked “Why?” Mary, did you know? Did you know that your greatest blessing would endure this kind of suffering? Did you know what his sacrifice would ultimately mean to the world? Did you know his death would save you? Did you know his death would save us all?

As we approached the table of communion, I wanted to see if I could put myself at the foot of the cross just like Mary. I wanted to ask if I understood, if I realized, if I knew. There is a reality in this moment, when we try to reflect on an event that happened over 2,000 years ago. Unless we’ve had a son or daughter killed in front of us, we probably cannot grasp the gravity of the experience. Mary, did you know it would come to this? The birth of your son brought forth the one who would be the sacrifice for us all. Mary may not have known, and to some degree I doubt I fully grasp it. Yet, I continue to memorialize the death of Jesus during communion. I break off some bread and I drink some wine and I sit at the foot of the cross, as much as I can, like Mary and I ask myself, “Do I know? Do I understand? Do I appreciate this life that was given for me?”

Mary did you know, that your baby boy will face the whip of torture?
Mary did you know, that the Roman guard would give or show no quarter?
Did you know, that your lovely son will have his body flailed?
This little child you’re raising, on a tree will soon be nailed?

The Earth will shake, the rocks will spilt, the tombs will break free
The wounds will bleed, the boy will speak “Why’d you forsake me?”

Mary did you know?

 

 

 

Could announcements possibly be the worst, most ignored, most wasted part of our gathering time each week?   Are there ways to do it better? Should we just give up and assume people just don’t want to be bothered by these pesky details?  Yes. And no.

Here’s part of the issue. People come to worship to…worship. However, being a part of a community means there needs to be some form of coordination and communication. There are email lists, bulletin articles, bulletin boards in the hallways, slide shows before/after worship, video announcements, and there are announcements from the podium. While abandoning all public announcements may not be an option for your setting, below are 10 dos and don’t of having effective announcements.  

1.     DO announce the big things. Announcements should be something that relates to the vast majority of the hearers. Keep this to major events, goals, or things the community is focused on for medium to long term.  

2.     DON’T announce it from the pulpit if it only affects a small portion of people (i.e. small group meeting being canceled, deacon meeting, or ladies bible study schedule change). Those groups should be communicating through their own channels, not by using time during the large assembly.

3.     DO keep to three or less announcement topics. The longer you talk the more people will tune you out. If it is really crazy and only every once in a while you can announce four things. But you have to say, “I know this is a lot this morning but please listen to this one additional important piece of information.” That will help people keep their focus for just a bit longer.

4.     DON’T “take care of business.” If it comes across as a business meeting pattern, people will begin to tune you out. They will start to get their contribution ready, look at their cell phone, check-in on social media, or something else. Changing the feel and possibly the name of the time may be helpful. Some use “Family News” as their announcement time.

5.     DO be engaging. If it is positive, be energetic. If it is not worth getting excited about, is it really worth sharing?  If it is negative, be sympathetic. If it is not a big deal, don’t make it a big deal by making an announcement.

6.     DON’T be fake. Being excited does not mean you are always loud and animated.  Being sympathetic does not always mean being quite. Just be genuine. Being fake is a big turn off.

7.     DO have the right person make the announcement. This connects to #6. The right person is less likely to be fake. If possible have the person making the announcement be connected to the thing being announced.  Whoever it is, make sure they have good communication skills. They don’t have to be perfect, but they do need to be able to communicate to the whole group.

8.     DO ask why? There needs to be a compelling “Why” behind the decision to announce something.  Why does this need to be said today, now, during this service? Do older people want to hear this? Do younger people want to hear it? Do married people, single people, divorced, widowed, men, women, etc. want to hear this?  And by the way, not upsetting a member is not a compelling “Why.” There is no compelling reason to announce to the entire congregation that a member’s great Aunt Sally is having surgery on her big toe.

9.     DO find the right fit in the service. If you just announced the death of a member, it is really difficult to get in the mood to sing “Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow.”  All announcements do not have to be at the beginning or at the end. You may want to separate joyful announcements from sad announcements or event announcements from church family announcements.  I have found a welcome time toward the beginning of a service a good time to welcome everyone and to highlight a few positive things.  A more somber place in the service is a better place for sad announcements.  

10.   DO be purposeful. If you are in a routine and the routine is the only reason you are doing it…change. Every week is not the same. Treat each week and the information you are considering sharing as its own special time. Will what you are considering sharing be helpful to your audience?

This list is not all-inclusive and does not cover very situation and every congregation. You have to figure out what works in your situation. In many cases, information can be distributed in other ways such as email, social media, or text. But there is no one solution to every situation. Comment below with your suggestions or share a strange, awkward, or out of place announcement you remember hearing.

 

Quiz:

The following are potential announcement items for your next worship service time. Which will you announce?

1.     The baptistery is getting a new hot water heater next week.

2.     The dinner group that usually meets on Tuesday will not meet this week.

3.     Next week service schedule will be different due to the holidays.

4.     Michael’s Great Uncle Frank had a heart attack and is in ICU in the Netherlands.

5.     Our campaign to serve 10,000 meals to the poor starts next Saturday.

6.     A pair of earrings was found on the floor in the ladies room.

7.     Mrs. Angie Parks passed away Friday evening. Funeral services are scheduled for Monday at 4:00 p.m.

8.     The youth bus needs some engine maintenance, if you know of a good mechanic please see deacon Bob.

When the world was older people thought the Earth was flat, and sailing too far would result in falling off the edge.  There was also a time when people believed the sun went around the earth.  People think George Washington had wooden teeth, that you can get warts from a frog, and that “irregardless” is not a word. All these beliefs are untrue.   “Irregardless” is a word, so says Webster, but I do not recommend using it.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be wrong?  If we evaluate the times when we have been wrong they are always in a past tense setting. I was wrong. I thought wrong. I did wrong.  It is contrary to human nature to live in a wrong mindset. We may choose to do wrong, but when we do we have some form of justification in our mind. We have rationalized a good reason for doing what is contrary to a set of rules or expectations.   However, we never truly operate in a mindset of being wrong.  To summarize Randy Harris, as soon as we think we are wrong, we instantly change our mind and are right again. So we never know what it feels like to be wrong, only to have been wrong (in the past).

A man I respect (but do not always agree with) once said, “There are three possibilities when people disagree:
1. Person “A” is right and person “B” is wrong.
2. Person “B” is right and person “A” is wrong.
3. Both person “A” and “B” are wrong.” 
I see the reason in this, but the more difficult thing to ascertain is which person I am.  The struggle we experience when others do not agree with us comes from pride.  Pride is what causes the pain in disagreement and in some cases the destruction of relationships.  Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”  Human nature says, “I am right.”  Peter Senge, senior lecturer at MIT school of management, summed-up this human tendency well. Internally people think to themselves:
·      “My beliefs are truth.
·      The truth is obvious.
·      My beliefs are based on real data.
·      The data I select is the real data.”
When people do not share our beliefs we can see them as missing the “obvious” or having not selected the “real data.”  Can you see why we have conflict in our lives?

A great illustration of this is the Ladder of Inference.  The ladder of inference is a metaphor for a process that happens in our minds before we take actions.  Those actions can be something we do, something we say, or even an attitude we have.  I will explain how the ladder works, but make sure to keep reading so you understand the most dangerous part of the ladder.  Like most ladders, we will start at the bottom and work our way up.

1.     Observable Data, is ALL the data available to us. It includes everything we sense through seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, or tasting.  It could be the tone of someone’s voice, the words in a paragraph, the look on someone’s face, the noise in a room, or the current weather.  ALL data is all the data that is available to us.  Keep in mind that there may be some relevant data that is not available to us.
2.     Data I Select. We do not use all data. Our brains have limits. Therefore, we select some (not all) of the available data.  The selection process is where we as individuals begin to diverge. You may select data that I do not and vice versa.
3.     I add meanings.  These meanings are based on personal experiences, cultural norms.  It is affected by our mood and attitude, possibly even our health.
4.     I make assumptions.
5.     I draw conclusions.
6.     I adopt beliefs. This is the point where we see something as truth. After all, how many of us would purposefully believe something we know to be untrue?

Here is the MOST DANGEROUS part of the ladder.  There is a feedback loop (reflexive loop) that begins when we adopt beliefs. Feedback is a cycling process that feeds on itself. Like the feedback in a microphone/speaker system. If the microphone gets to close to the speaker, sound coming out of the speaker is picked up by the microphone, which sends it to the amplifier, so it comes out the speaker louder.  The microphone picks up the louder sound and sends it to the amplifier, so it comes out the speaker even louder.  The process continues until a loud screeching sound kills all our ears. The movement up this ladder is the same kind of continuous cycling feedback process.

As we adopt beliefs it begins to affect the data we select.  We believe something to be true so the natural thing to do is select data that supports our already adopted belief. We collect more and more supporting data to bolster our belief. We will even ignore relevant data that is contrary to our beliefs.  Learning something new happens, when we begin to select data that does not support our current beliefs.

7.     I take actions.  The actions we take are based on beliefs we hold.

Here is a scenario.  You are in a meeting with colleagues.  You notice one person who sits slumping in their chair with arms folded (you just selected data).  They appear to be unengaged (you just added meaning). You think they are distracted (you just made an assumption).  They must not be interested in this meeting (you just drew a conclusion).  This person obviously lacks professionalism (you just adopted a belief).  Now the feedback loop.  

You select more data to support your adopted belief that they lack professionalism. You notice their shoes are scuffed, their tie is loose, and that there is an ink stain on their shirt. You have selected more data to support your belief that this person lacks professionalism.   

Because this person lacks professionalism you treat them differently than you do the others in the meeting. Their input becomes less valuable and you are less likely to call on them for assistance. What you do not know is that this person was up all night with a sick child in the emergency room.

Now you know why we can think, “I am right and you are wrong”…at least in our own minds. Next time we will look at how to better understand someone who thinks differently.

It is time to get back to writing.  I’ve been away for some time due to some personal reasons and am looking forward to getting back to writing.

In my article “Should church leaders manage or lead?” I listed Warren Bennis’ 12 contrasts between leadership and management.  The second is “The manager is a copy; the leader is an original.”

Consider the difference between a business owner and a business manager. The owner is the original, the idea person, the one who started everything in motion. The manager is the one who is put in place to oversee the day-to-day routines of the business to ensure they are all operating properly.  These routines can include personnel schedules, training, opening and closing, and a wide variety of other functions.  They work off a checklist of dos and don’ts. It is the manager’s primary responsibility to make the owners vision come to life.

Way back in 1988 David A. Van Seters and Richard H.G. Field said, “The new leader must be visionary, willing to take risks, and highly adaptable to change.” Part of being original is the ability to do things differently.  Michael Jackson was a musician like many others before him. However, he is seen as an original.

It gets tricky when looking at church leadership.  Christians are disciples of Jesus. A disciple is a follower.  Does that mean that church leaders must only copy what Jesus did?  Yes and no.  We are to copy Jesus as it relates to his love of the Father and his love of people.  How we live our lives and how we treat others should emulate the personality of Jesus. It is the character of Jesus that is important.  It is note worthy to recognize that we do not live in the same time, culture, economy, and political world that Jesus lived in.  Therefore there are many aspects of what Jesus did that should not be copied today.

• To be a copy we would need to dress as Jesus dressed.
• To be an original we would need to dress in a way that helps us relate to others.
   
• To be a copy we would need to speak the same language Jesus spoke.
• To be an original we need to speak the language that helps us communicate the hope we have.
   
• To be a copy we would need to travel as Jesus traveled (who wants to ride a donkey?)
• To be an original we need to travel in ways that efficiently help us connect with our world.

You get the point.

“Doing things the way we have always done them” in church leadership is not the right answer and is not an appropriate response.  Contrary to popular belief, the way we do things today is not they way they have always been done.  Imagine how different our view of Jesus would be if the only miracle he did was to change water into wine. Over and over, the same miracle.  When the royal official in John 4:46-53 came to Jesus and asked him to visit his son and heal him, Jesus did not say, “Fill six stone water jars to the rim and I will change that water to wine.”  After Lazarus’ death Jesus did not say, “bring me some water that I may change it to wine.”   In these cases Jesus did not do the same thing. He did what was beneficial to others.  

Doing things the way we have always done them is really saying, “it is uncomfortable to do things differently so let’s not change.”  This over used chiche’ comes to mind, “The definition of insanity is…”

What changes have you seen that positively impacted the church?
What same-old-things do you see that could benefit from some originality?

Sitting in a coffee shop in Oklahoma City I over hear three ladies talking. I don’t make out all of their conversation. However, I do hear one woman say, “…that’s a blessing.”   I thought to myself, “Yes it is.”   I have no idea what they were talking about but I know this, it was a blessing for me just by making out the phrase, “that’s a blessing.”    I was blessed because I was in a small way able to share in a community moment when someone else’s experience was affirmed to be a gift.  That affirmation is part of why community is so important in the Christian faith. Christians in community see, “in the companionship of a fellow Christian a physical sign of the gracious presence of God” (D. Bonhoeffer).  Christ lives in us. When we are together Christ is with us. When we talk to each other God is a part of our conversation.

 

By our words we are leading people in some direction. We are either leading them closer to God or further away from God. The power of life and death is in our words (Proverbs 18:21).  Small phrases of blessings are like espresso.  They are concentrated and powerful. Let us use the power of life in our words to bless people in our lives. We may unknowingly bless others around us.

I was born and raised in the Churches of Christ. Through 42 years I have been a part of many congregations. I’ve seen wonderful, joyful, strange, and sad things happen over the years. But there is one thing I have rarely seen.

I never realized how abnormal we were. In 2010 the church was going through an Elder selection process. I was serving as the deacon over the Youth program and Office Administration.  Although our congregation’s personality and culture were slightly different than other congregations, our pattern for organization was the same. Elders ran the show. Most, if not all, ideas were vetted by the Elders and permission was given for everything from replacing broken plumbing to the scheduling of work days.  We had quarterly Elder/Deacon meetings that one of the Elders would chair with an agenda was developed by the Elders with Deacon input.  We were normal because we did things for the most part just like every other congregation did them. I never realized how abnormal we were in God’s eyes.  We were abnormal because we were not following principals given in scripture.

“It would not be right for us
to neglect the ministry of the word of God
in order to wait on tables. Brothers,
choose seven men from among you
who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom.
We will turn this responsibility over to them
and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.”
Acts 6:2b-4

During a conversation between the Elders and myself, we began talking about the roll of Deacons and Elders. In that conversation the Elders and I discussed how they could best help the Deacons do their jobs so the Elders could “give [their] attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.” The answer was straight out of Acts 6, “turn [the] responsibility over to them”.

Many questions were asked. What do the Elders need to help them do their job better? What do the Deacons need to help them do their job better? What are we doing now that is hurting our situation and how do we stop doing it? What are we doing now that is helping our situation? How much control do the Elders need (Biblically speaking)? How much freedom do the Deacons need? What other organizational adjustments need to be made to help both groups? How will we manage the change?  How will we ensure the change sticks?

The Elders were going to empower the Deacons, really empower them; not just talk like they were empowered but they were also going to act in ways that supported the Deacons authority. To do this, Deacons needed to be more self-reliant, more responsible, and operate more freely within their ministry areas. Elders needed to be more hands off, to refer problems and delegate tasks to the Deacons on a continuous basis. One small act of an Elder assuming responsibility for a Deacon’s job would undermine the whole process.  The Eldership had to be committed to seeing this through, even through the pains of change.

Some of the Elders thought they were WERE empowering the Deacons. I explained to them that it does not matter what the eldership thinks, what matters is what the individual Deacon thinks. If a Deacon thought they had the power and authority to make decisions within their ministry, they would not come to the Elders asking permission for this or that.  So we devised a plan.

In May of 2010, the first Deacon meeting started. It started with the Elders giving a brief presentation. They handed out letters to all the Deacons, read the letter aloud, took questions, prayed over the Deacons, and then left the meeting.  Yes! They turned the responsibility over to them, then left the Deacons to their task.  The letter started this way,

We believe it will be beneficial to your work
as servants of the Central Kitsap Church of Christ,
to our work as shepherds, and for the congregation as a whole,
if you as Deacons take full and complete ownership
of your areas of responsibility.

Did that really just happen? Recently I was taking with one of my old Deacon buddies. We were laughing about that night and how he had turned to the person next to him and said, “Did that really just happen?”  This single act of empowerment, trust, respect, love, and hope, transformed the Eldership and the Deaconship in beneficial ways that neither fully anticipated.  I’ll share in future posts how we managed the change process and established new norms. I’ll end by saying that was a night I will never forget. A touchdown for the church.

 

As we look ahead into the next century,
leaders will be those who empower others.
 – Bill Gates